DIVORCE AND ITS EFFECT ON THE FAMILY

DIVORCE AND ITS EFFECT ON THE FAMILY

STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM

Spouses usually work had toward handling these differences and difficulties but

some are not able to resolve the differences and difficulties. Their marriage fails. When marriages fail, divorce is the resultant effect. There are some basic and fundamental needs for a stable and peaceful marriage which cannot be overemphasized. Some major causes of divorce include financial problems, sexual incompatibility, problems from in-laws, religious incompatibility, financial problems, cultural differences, lack of parental skills, poor communication, childlessness (mostly in the African system and even the issue of a male child),  among other issues.

Marriage counselling is not yet as effective as is psychotherapy or counselling directed at non-marital problems. In one study, for example, about 66 percent of the subjects who received marriage counselling reported the result “helpful”. In contrast, 88 percent of the subjects who sought help for personal non-marital problem reported the result as “helpful” (Guin et al 1960).

In Nigeria the issue is not how effective marriage counselling is, it is its total absence even in “official quarters”. This means that the divorce rate is high (Weigh 1994) and even for marriages that seem to be together, the couples are unhappy and only “bear their marriage as a big cross” (Mbazue: 1995).

The absence of pre-marital and marital counselling may be the reason why Kumuyi (1990) reports that homes are breaking at an alarming rate today. Unhappy marriages and marital break down in Nigeria has serious implications for the society. Amongst most Nigeria a community, a marriage is not an individual affair. It involves the entire family and even the village or community (Bulus, 1986). Marital breakdown therefore affects the health of the society. If the family therefore is an index of measuring the success or failure of the society, it means that marital failure translates into the failure of the society.

There is therefore need to understand and solve marital conflicts because of the implications they have for development.  In Nigeria we are faced with such problems like youth delinquency, robbery, drug abuse, sexual immorality, prostitution and several others.

Several studies have investigated the family background of such children involved, and the result have shown that most of these problems mentioned above are as a result of parental separation. As a result, the attention of the government, individuals charitable organizations, parents, teachers, guidance and counsellors are needed to consider this alarming problem.                   

Counselling like education is a lifelong process. This means that every human being needs guidance and counselling as they grow from cradle to crane. The importance of guidance counsellor to adolescents and children in their multifarious problem of adjustment to living cannot be overemphasized. In their daily interaction with peers, teachers and parents, adolescents encounter educational, vocational and personal social problems which they cannot resolve themselves. Fears, anxiety, conflicts, suspicious of adult values and occasional rebellious acts sometimes show the type of stress and strain which typical adolescents experience as they grow from childhood to adulthood.  

Perhaps more than adolescents, parents also need guidance and counselling for their daily living roles as parents especially in training their children to be good citizens of the nation and also to have and keep a peaceful and successful home.  Counsellors have been trained to listen effectively and help individuals make use of their wealth of resources to resolve their personal concerns. Major reason for the Federal Government of Nigeria to issue a policy statement as contained in the National Policy on Education (2004) and observed as follows:

“In view of the apparent ignorance of young people about career prospect, and in view of personality maladjustment among school children, career officers and Counsellors will be appointed in post primary institutions. Since qualified personnel in this category are  scarce, government will continue to make provision for the training of interested teachers in Guidance and Counselling. Guidance and Counselling will also feature in Teacher education programmes.”

Consequent upon the above, frantic efforts were made by the three tiers of government to train Counsellors for all levels of educational system study and generous scholarships were granted teachers to undertake courses in Guidance and counselling. It is in this vein that the curriculum of counsellor trainees especially at the undergraduate level has been focused on training them to meet the demands of adolescents not only at the secondary school level but also beyond. Counselling assumes that for us as people it is quite easy to relate with and disclose to other people who take time to listen to us and our problems and try to help us understand them.

Before guidance and counselling was introduced into the 3rd world like Nigeria, some group of individual were responsible for advising and counselling individuals in the traditional society in the resolution of social, personal, educational and vocational problems according to Odebunmi (1982) consisting of traditional religious priests, fortune tellers, elders and heads of families within the extended family system, teachers and principals within the educational systems, priests and religious leaders of churches and Imams and Alhaji’s within the Moslem religion, friends and acquaintances within the peer group.

The American Personnel and Guidance Association (1967) defined Guidance as an organized effort of a school to help the individual child develop to his maximum potential. Bernard and Fullmer (1977) on their part consider Guidance as the formal and informal effort to guide youths into the future. For Ipaye (1983) sees Guidance as a generic label, an umbrella term that covers all the means whereby an institution identifies and responds to the needs of pupils or students no matter the nature of the need and no matter its source thereby helping the child to develop to his maximum potential.

Arbuckle (1966) has attempted to distinguish the usage of the term ‘guidance’ as a concept, as an educational construct and as a service. To him, it is used as a concept to denote the utilization of a point of view to help an individual. From the educational point, it refers to the provision of experiences that assist pupils to understand and accept themselves and function effectively in their environment. Also as a service, it denotes procedures and processes organized to achieve a helping relationship Olusakin (2010).

The American Guidance Service Inc. defines Counselling as the process in which an experienced and trained person assists a second person to understand himself and his opportunities, make appropriate adjustment and decisions in the light of his understanding, accept the responsibility for the choice and to follow a course of action in harmony with his choice.

Shertzer and Stone (1976) defined Counselling as a learning process in which individuals learn about themselves, their interpersonal relationships and behaviours that advance their personal development. Thompson and Poppen (1972) define Counselling as a person-to-person relationship in which one person helps another to resolve an area of conflict that has not been hitherto resolved, Olusakin (2010).

 Smith (1955) defines it as a process in which the counsellor assists the Counsellee to make interpretations of facts relating to a choice, plan or adjustments which he needs to make. It involves a one-to-one relationship and must be done by well trained personnel.

Marital counselling has been described as the organized application of techniques or interventions which is designed to modify for the better, maladjustment or maladaptive nature of human relationship of marital partners. In the opinion of Akinade (1997), marital counselling is concerned with assisting couples to understand where they are so that they may decide for themselves which way to go. It could be divided into two broad phases i.e.; the pre marital counselling phase and the marital (after marriage) phase.

While the first is concerned with assistance given to prospective spouses before they enter into marriage, the second is meant to address marital issues/problems likely to be faced or is being faced by married couples during the wedding ceremony and later in their inter relationship as husband and wife. It involves the use of counselling theories and techniques as well as biological (genetic) screening of the individuals about to go into marriage, Adeyemi (2004). The Planned Parenthood Federation of Nigeria (PPFN) believes that a good family life is important because it is the condition, not only for health and happiness, but also for responsible citizenship, community life and prosperity, Adeyemi (2004).

Due to consistent quarrels and fighting in troubled families, there is the need to help couples and their children through counselling. This is the rationale behind this study. The issue of broken and divorced parents is a serious one that affects the life of many young ones especially in Nigeria due to so many reasons which will be considered in the course of this project. Conflicts in the family always prevent the home from performing its duties or responsibilities towards the rearing of the young ones and the growing youths. Love is a word that covers a broad spectrum of attraction, liking, respect and positive interpersonal relations (Makinde: 2001). The importance and relevance of Love in the home cannot be overemphasized.

 

1.3 PURPOSE OF THE STUDY

The purpose of this study is to examine the place of Guidance and Counselling in the causes and the effects of divorce on the immediate family members in Nigeria. It is aimed at considering the major alarming causes of divorce and the end result of these causes on the immediate family members i.e. the father, the mother and the children in the typical Nigerian system. The major implication of guidance and counselling before the divorce and after the divorce proper. To create awareness on the nature and types of conflicts generally, specifically marital conflicts. To create the need to raise structures and institutionalize pre-marital counselling in Nigeria. To make for harmony and integration of the family unit.

BUY THIS TOPIC ON WHATSAPP

Related Project Materials

ABSTRACT

The study examined the effects of boarding and de-boarding on the academic performance of seni...

Background of the study

Following the fluctuation of the naira in 1986, a policy induced by the structural adjustment pr...

ABSTRACT

This study investigates the coverage areas of VHF and UHF signals of two television stations in Ekiti State, Nigeria by quantita...

Abstract

Continuous assessment is an academic issue, which has been emphasized recently by the Federal Mini...